You weren’t supposed to find this…

But since you’re here… do sit down. The tea’s already steeped, and the fortunes are feeling twitchy.

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Welcome to Notes from the Other Side… of Sanity

(Click here for a more straightforward format)

(Click here to see a set of fortunes)

A strange little correspondence from beyond the sensible.

Each hand-painted card delivers a fortune, a warning, or a weirdly specific emotional gut punch — plucked from the Archive and steeped in nonsense.

Five per set. Individually divined. Absolutely not FDA-approved.

What You’ll Find Here

Current Volumes Available for Adoption

Click to make one yours.

Mildly Weird (Good for Beginners and Houseplants)

Set One: The Existential Sandwich
Pondering lunch and life? These fortunes toe the line between deep and deli.

Set Four: Whimsy with Intent
Friendly, flirty, and just unhinged enough to spark insight (or a spontaneous cartwheel).

Set Nine: Confetti of Destiny
Joyfully absurd with a hint of wisdom. Like birthday cake for your third eye.

Moderately Weird (Now We’re Getting Somewhere)

Set Three: Fortune by Committee
Collected nonsense from imaginary focus groups and snack-driven decisions.

Set Six: The Sideways Oracle
Crooked logic, sensible nonsense, and insight via sock metaphors.

Set Ten: The Final Five (for now…)
Short, sharp, and slightly unhinged. Like a mini oracle wearing googly eyes.

Maximum Weird (Not Recommended for Centaurs in Retrograde)

Set Two: Cosmic Nonsense
Spacey, spicy, and spiritually suspect. Read while stargazing or arguing with a moonbeam.

Set Five: Bureaucracy of the Universe
Filing the unfileable. Fortunes from the department of red-tape riddles and metaphysical memos.

Set Seven: Riddles from the Wallpaper
If you’ve ever side-eyed floral wallpaper and heard it whisper secrets, this is your set.

Set Eight: Mildly Possessed Predictions
These might be haunted. Definitely eccentric. Possibly written by a mischievous ghost with a sense of humor.

The Archive

Welcome to the official* Archive of Notes from the Other Side… of Sanity.
(*Note: “Official” is a strong word. We prefer “vaguely recognized by interdimensional librarians.”)

Here you’ll find the chronicles of every known fortune set—those available for adoption, those temporarily misplaced in parallel realms, and those still whispering in test tubes.

Currently Available for Adoption

These fortune sets are alive, well, and mildly suspicious.

Set One: The Existential Sandwich
Pondering lunch and life. May cause brief metaphysical cravings.
Set Four: Whimsy with Intent
Contains at least one cartwheel. Side effects may include spontaneous optimism.
Set Nine: Confetti of Destiny
Glittery nonsense with occasional side quests.
Set Three: Fortune by Committee
Designed by a boardroom full of imaginary creatures and one skeptical squirrel.
Set Six: The Sideways Oracle
Diagonally insightful. Read upside-down for bonus weird.
Set Ten: The Final Five (for now…)
Unexpectedly poignant. May hug you emotionally.
Set Two: Cosmic Nonsense
Only safe to read during planetary alignment or snack time.
Set Five: Bureaucracy of the Universe
Requires three forms and a ceremonial stapler.
Set Seven: Riddles from the Wallpaper
May cause you to stare at your walls with new suspicion.
Set Eight: Mildly Possessed Predictions
Haunted in a friendly way. Probably.

Retired Sets

Out of print, off the shelf, and possibly off their rocker.

Set Zero: The Prequel Nobody Asked For
Handwritten by The Biscuit during a caffeine-fueled fugue. Only six known copies exist—five were lost in a coin-operated washing machine in Topeka.
Set 6.5: Sock Drawer Prophecies
Withdrawn after a fortune predicted a Tuesday that never arrived. Available only in dreams, and only if you’re wearing mismatched socks.

Rumored Sets (Unconfirmed but Loudly Whisper About Themselves)

Set Eleven: The Platypus Accord
Said to contain five fortunes that contradict themselves and still make sense. Currently embargoed by the Council of Confused Creatures.
Set Thirteen: Tea Leaves & Tattle-Tales
Fortunes steeped so long they became sentient. Will only reveal themselves to chosen mugs.
Set Fourteen: The Unwritten Volume
The Biscuit refuses to discuss this one. When asked, they vanish in a puff of lavender smoke and dramatic sighing.

Disputed Entry

Listed here only because it refuses not to be listed.

Set X: The Card That Bites
No creator. No known copies. Yet every few months, someone reports a papercut followed by a cryptic whisper. Draw at your own risk.

How to Adopt a Fortune Set

So… you’ve encountered a fortune set that hums at you slightly when you’re not looking. You feel an odd warmth in your left elbow. You’ve begun craving metaphors. These are the signs.

It’s time to adopt.

The Ritual (Totally Real, Absolutely Binding)

Gaze Deeply Into the Set of Your Choice
Choose the volume that whispers to you (figuratively… or literally, we don’t judge). You may feel a slight tingling or hear a kazoo in the distance. Note: The paintings in each set are hand-painted and unique, but the fortunes stay the same)
Place It in Your Satchel of Destiny (a.k.a. the Cart)
This marks your intention to commit. Be warned: once in the satchel, the fortunes begin plotting.
Speak the Sacred Phrase
Whisper: “I accept my fate, and also whatever snacks come with it.”
(Optional. But strongly encouraged.)
Complete the Offering
Contribute three coins and a vow of curiosity (or, you know, your card info). Our payment system is mostly grounded in reality.
Wait for the Signs (or the Mail)
Your fortunes will be hand-packaged with care, mild suspicion, and possibly an extra whisper from The Biscuit. Watch your mailbox. Watch your dreams. Avoid ducks for 24 hours.

Each set includes five hand-painted cards, individually divined and gloriously unlicensed for fate manipulation.
You may receive a bonus message. You may become strangely lucky in parking lots. You may feel seen.

Congratulations. You are now a Keeper of Nonsense.

The Lore of the Fortunes (As Revealed in a Seance Conducted by a Haunted Pocket Watch)

Many moons ago—or perhaps in an hour that never existed—a tattered velvet curtain parted in the back of a traveling curiosity wagon. Inside, under the watchful gaze of a taxidermied owl named Francine, a circle of rogue fortune tellers accidentally summoned a mischief spirit by collectively sneezing during a tarot spread.

That spirit, known only as The Whispering Biscuit, imparted a prophecy:
“One day, you shall write truths so confusing, mortals will mistake them for enlightenment.”

And thus, the Notes from the Other Side…of Sanity were born—scrawled by candlelight on aged napkins, fortune-cookie fragments, and occasionally, beetle husks. These messages found their way into our world through mysterious portals (mostly public laundromats) and were sorted by Level of Weird—a classification system designed by a sentient crystal ball with mild social anxiety.

From the mildly curious to the cosmically unhinged, each fortune is a tiny relic of beautifully useless wisdom. Carry one with you. Whisper it to a duck. Use it to ward off awkward conversations. These are not predictions. They are possibilities you never considered—and shouldn’t fully trust.

So shuffle the cards, rub your lucky spoon, and remember:
The future is unknowable. But it’s definitely snickering behind a curtain somewhere.

Who—or What—is The Whispering Biscuit?

The Whispering Biscuit is a semi-retired prophecy entity with a flair for the theatrical and a deep mistrust of linear time. Manifesting intermittently as a levitating pastry, a flickering radio signal from 1927, or an overcaffeinated librarian with too many rings, the Biscuit has one sacred purpose: to deliver confounding truths wrapped in whimsy and dusted with just the tiniest hint of menace.

Nobody knows where they came from. Some believe the Biscuit was originally a discarded fortune cookie that gained sentience during a solar eclipse. Others whisper that they were once a Victorian parrot who read palms at garden parties and never truly got over the collapse of the millinery industry.

What is known:

They speak exclusively in riddles, limericks, and bureaucratic poetry.
They cannot be summoned, but they may appear if you ask your plants philosophical questions at midnight.
They are banned from six dimensions for “excessive meddling with ducks.”

It was The Whispering Biscuit who curated the Notes from the Other Side…Of Sanity, claiming each one was “stolen from the dreams of unusually creative fenceposts.” They maintain that the fortunes aren’t meant to make sense—only to rattle the imagination loose, like a maraca full of enlightenment and glitter.

They are watching. They are amused. And they are probably sitting in your sock drawer right now, humming something suspicious.

Super Secret Hint:

Once every once in a while, the Whispering Biscuit will insert an extra fortune into a pack. You’ll know it by the initials “WB” at the bottom.

“All things are true eventually, especially the ones that aren’t.”
—The Whispering Biscuit

Warranties

The Biscuit Warranty (Version: Incomprehensible 3.7)

Your fortunes are guaranteed to do something. The nature, intensity, and legality of that something are unknown and unknowable. If nothing happens, wait longer. If too much happens, please contact your favorite mug for emotional support.

Void if exposed to logic, reality, or tax auditors.

Limited Emotional Warranty

Each set of fortunes comes with a 7-day emotional curiosity period. If your reality shifts slightly to the left or you begin referring to clouds as “ominous mentors,” this is considered normal and not grounds for return.

Side effects may include: insight, laughter, bewilderment, or spontaneous clarity during toast.

Arcane Certificate of Questionable Function

This artifact has passed the minimum standards of fortune-flinging as determined by The Whispering Biscuit and one ambivalent ferret. It is certified as:
✓ Mysterious
✓ Marginally magical
✓ Unlikely to explode
✓ Frequently stared at by pigeons

Handle with irreverence.

Eldritch Return Policy

If you are not fully satisfied, you may return your fortunes by placing them under a full moon, whispering an apology, and performing a dramatic sigh. Results may vary. The Biscuit is not responsible for outcomes, feelings, or the sudden realization that ducks are watching.

But seriously, contact me within 30 days of purchase for a refund.

Enlist in the Society of Unreliable Revelations

(Join the email list)

Esteemed Visitor,

You are cordially, cryptically, and possibly accidentally invited to join our ongoing correspondence of curiosities, contradictions, and clandestine biscuitry.

By subscribing to our missives, you shall receive:

Advanced notice of new fortune volumes (before the general rabble gets wind of them)
Dramatic announcements delivered with flair and unnecessary punctuation
Dispatches from The Whispering Biscuit’s dressing room (feathers, fog, and foreboding)
The occasional secret, scandal, or spectral stage direction

We promise not to overwhelm your inbox—unless, of course, the curtains rise and the spirits insist.

Sign your name below. Quill optional. Drama inevitable.

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Receive a Fortune (At Your Own Risk)

Not all fortunes arrive on time. Some sneak up on you during brunch. Others arrive via marmalade dreams or suspicious toast. But now—now, you’ve been invited to draw one deliberately.

The Whispering Biscuit has authorized a single-use revelation.
Well, “authorized” is a strong word. Let’s just say the Biscuit looked intrigued and didn’t say no.

Click the image below below to receive your message from the Archive.
May it be weird. May it be wonderful. May it not involve ducks (but no promises)

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Notes from the Other Side… of Sanity

A curious collection of hand-painted fortunes, mild nonsense, and cryptic charm.

All content lovingly conjured, occasionally whispered, and probably not legally binding.